Health Fair

So today, my company had its annual health fair. In this event, many different healthcare agencies and businesses set up booths, and tell us all how unhealthy we are and give us free crap.

Bossy co-worker and I went down to the main level for this fun-filled extravaganza (anything to get out of doing actual work, right?) While down there, I realized many things.

1) My spine is out of line, according to the Dr. at the school of chiropracters, my spine needs an adjustment and after a series of office visits, he can have me in tip top shape...

2) My blood pressure is high. Yes, I knew this, and yes I'm already being medicated for it. "You'd like me to take this handy pamphlet on the risks of hypertension? But I told you I've already been diagnosed...yes...yes...okay fine, I'll take your damn pamphlet, leave me alone already!"

3) I'm fat. Well gee, thanks for the observation, Captain Obvious. I'm already in Weight Watchers. Okay fine, maybe they didn't haul out the "F" word, but seriously, must we go over this over and over again?

4) Help with quitting smoking...well since I never started this was the easiest by far...

5) Mental health. Finally something I need. No? You can't write me a prescription for Prozac? Fine, what good are you?!!!

I did sign up for the various drawings they are having later today. Maybe I'll win something. Stranger things have happened....