Hi. How was your weekend? Mine...fine...I guess....
Let me tell you people. If you ever get the opportunity to take two thirteen-year-old-girls to the mall for their Christmas shopping, jump off a fucking cliff. That's about how much fun I had with my daughter and her friend doing their "Christmas shopping". I put that in quotes because my daughter bought gifts for all of her friends and none of her family. I'm refusing to give her any more money because quite honestly, I've given her plenty and think that she should feel like crap for not having her priorities straight. But alas, who ever does at thirteen? Parenting sucks and if you think that your sweet little angel who is cute and says funny things will not grow up to be a royal pain in your ass later in life, you are seriously delusional, just sayin'.....
Anyway, Saturday morning, I've promised the little queen bee and her pal that I'd take them to the mall. However, the night before when getting my groceries at Sam Walton's evil empire The Walmart Supercenter, I discovered that my brakes were making noises that no car had any business making. I had the husband (who is mechanically inept in every sense of the word) take it in to be looked at, and as I suspected, the rotors were shot and needed to be replaced....seriously diminishing my Christmas payload....gotta love cars.... Anyway, $185 later, we're on the road to the mall all full of Christmas cheer an' shit!
Upon arriving at the mall, Genius (that's what I call my husband, I'm sure that if ever one of my children are called a genius at any time in their educational careers, they will be seriously offended, because it takes on the opposite meaning...if you get my drift...), is amazed at the clusterfuck that the parking lot has turned into...shocking isn't it? That during the Christmas season the malls would be packed? Did I mention, he invited himself on this excursion and did nothing but bitch the entire time about how we could have done all of our shopping at the evil Walmart empire instead? Ugh, men!
Anyway, I've got most of my Christmas shopping done, I'm still married and my car stops, so that's all positive shit right there, right?
Of course Genius's fuel pump went out this morning and he's a special kind of pleasant to be around and him riding with me in the mornings could be the end of an otherwise happy union....we'll see....
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Holly Jolly...yada yada yada
I am such a procrastinator! Its getting worse and worse each year. I've yet to buy my kids anything for Christmas yet, and my tree isn't even up. It seems like it gets later and later in the year when I do finally get around to decorating and shopping for the holidays.
Today, at least, I got my Christmas bonus and am going to go buy groceries, some things for baking cookies, and the bulk of my Christmas shopping. I'm sure I'll be all kinds of crabby and bitchy afterwards because I hate crowds and people, in general, so pray for me, please.
It's also worthy to note that not only will I be braving the malls which I hate, I'll be shopping with a group of teenage girls from our church youth group! I'm thinking it would be frowned upon were I to spike my coffee with Bailey's for the duration of the day? I'm supposing that would put my journey to hell on the fastrack, huh? Okay fine, but there will be coffee, right? There at least has to be coffee!!!!
Today, at least, I got my Christmas bonus and am going to go buy groceries, some things for baking cookies, and the bulk of my Christmas shopping. I'm sure I'll be all kinds of crabby and bitchy afterwards because I hate crowds and people, in general, so pray for me, please.
It's also worthy to note that not only will I be braving the malls which I hate, I'll be shopping with a group of teenage girls from our church youth group! I'm thinking it would be frowned upon were I to spike my coffee with Bailey's for the duration of the day? I'm supposing that would put my journey to hell on the fastrack, huh? Okay fine, but there will be coffee, right? There at least has to be coffee!!!!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Just Another Tequila Sunrise...
Ahh...what a weekend! Saturday, we went to Breakfast with Santa at the girl's school. She and the other cheerleadery girls were "santa's helpers" and handing out candy and gifts to the kidlets who sat on the old man's lap. The boy, was oh so thrilled to go see Santa. To quote him,"Santa is my freeeeeend!" Good luck with that kid, I think when you stepped on his toes and butted in line, you may be more his friend than he is yours, just sayin'....
Saturday night, my parents kept the offspring so the husband and I could attend the hillbilly hoedown that his company calls a Christmas party. It was held at an establishment that was also in the banquet room adjacent to ours holding "kickboxing matches". This was the first thing I spotted when entering the hotel. This place is called the Stratford Inn Read the reviews, you'll get my drift. My husband thought it would be nice to get a room at a discounted rate at this place. To say it was a total shithole, would be putting it nicely. There were literally bullet holes in the walls and on the dresser was a lovely card stating that the room had been cleaned personally by Michele on 11/20/06. Not a good starting point, I tell ya!
Anyway, the party was held in the "Gazebo room" which looked as though it were lifted directly out of the movie the Wedding Singer, complete with mirrored walls, and red shag carpeting. I was having a blast, just taking in the scenery. I totally wish I'd have had a camera phone because this stuff just can't be made up. Husband and I were seated at a table with his boss and other friends. We had the obligiatory buffet dinner followed by many awards given to the employees for various reasons. Husband received a safety award (Go husband, with your badass safe self!) in the amount of a $50 gift card to Wal-Mart. He was quite pleased with himself, and who am I to criticize free stuff, really?
Then the dancing festivities began. I mostly spent the evening going back and forth to the open bar and visiting with the other men of the Lawncare Co. that husband works for. I've developed quite the taste for the Tequila Sunrises and drank enough of them that the bar did, indeed, run out of tequila. I love those things, especially when they are free! There are a few couples we generally hang out with from his group of co-workers. The mechanic and his wife, he's a great guy who's hilarious and also not at all afraid to risk being arrested for comitting the crime of copying dvd's for my viewing pleasure. He's also got 5 pc's loaded with over 10,000 songs and is burning me a mix cd just because I'm nice, see.....people are generally still good, for the most part! Anyway, I'm not sure how many of those things I drank, but I do know there were more cups in front of me than I cared to dare count....
Once couple came to the party that we've visited with and been friendly in the past on several occassions. We've gone out on double-date type things with them and they're generally nice people, but I can't say that I know them all that well, what with our relationship basically consisting of the fact that we've gone to a country music concert and 3 bars with these people and not much else. I'd not say we're really close or anything like that.
Anyway, after the party ended at 11:00pm, we migrated to the hotel bar because hello, its only 11pm! This woman was telling me on several occassions that she thought I was cute. Well, okay, thanks, how very nice of you. Then, she tells me that guys are checking me out. "Um...okay," I say. What exactly does one say to that, anyway? We go to the bar where I buy myself and the other chick a lemon drops shot (cause that's what you do, right? Take turns buying?) And I kid you not she starts whispering in my ear how she loves my outfit and thinks I'm beautiful. It was weird and awkward and all kinds of strange for me. "Uh, thanks, I guess," I tell her, still not sure what to make of this woman. Then, this tall dude that was sitting at our table comes over and is talking to me, and when he walks away, I tell her that I think he's handsome. She says,"You know who I think is handsome? Your husband..." "Uh, okay, I'm kinda partial to him too, since I'm married to him and all...." WTF? Really? I've really got no radar for anything like this and was not at all sure of how to react. At this point, husband was nowhere to be found and then he comes out of nowhere to whisk me away from these people. He then informs me that they are swingers and apparently, she was interested in more than drinks and conversation! Should I not give people the benefit of the doubt and just assume that all new folks are insane until proven differently?
Needless to say, husband and I went back to our shithole room alone where we watched fuzzy Southpark on the craptastic television with no remote (because they wanted a fucking $10 deposit just to use the godamned remote, that's why!), had crazy alcohol-induced,monogomous, no extra-people, sex and went to sleep!
Saturday night, my parents kept the offspring so the husband and I could attend the hillbilly hoedown that his company calls a Christmas party. It was held at an establishment that was also in the banquet room adjacent to ours holding "kickboxing matches". This was the first thing I spotted when entering the hotel. This place is called the Stratford Inn Read the reviews, you'll get my drift. My husband thought it would be nice to get a room at a discounted rate at this place. To say it was a total shithole, would be putting it nicely. There were literally bullet holes in the walls and on the dresser was a lovely card stating that the room had been cleaned personally by Michele on 11/20/06. Not a good starting point, I tell ya!
Anyway, the party was held in the "Gazebo room" which looked as though it were lifted directly out of the movie the Wedding Singer, complete with mirrored walls, and red shag carpeting. I was having a blast, just taking in the scenery. I totally wish I'd have had a camera phone because this stuff just can't be made up. Husband and I were seated at a table with his boss and other friends. We had the obligiatory buffet dinner followed by many awards given to the employees for various reasons. Husband received a safety award (Go husband, with your badass safe self!) in the amount of a $50 gift card to Wal-Mart. He was quite pleased with himself, and who am I to criticize free stuff, really?
Then the dancing festivities began. I mostly spent the evening going back and forth to the open bar and visiting with the other men of the Lawncare Co. that husband works for. I've developed quite the taste for the Tequila Sunrises and drank enough of them that the bar did, indeed, run out of tequila. I love those things, especially when they are free! There are a few couples we generally hang out with from his group of co-workers. The mechanic and his wife, he's a great guy who's hilarious and also not at all afraid to risk being arrested for comitting the crime of copying dvd's for my viewing pleasure. He's also got 5 pc's loaded with over 10,000 songs and is burning me a mix cd just because I'm nice, see.....people are generally still good, for the most part! Anyway, I'm not sure how many of those things I drank, but I do know there were more cups in front of me than I cared to dare count....
Once couple came to the party that we've visited with and been friendly in the past on several occassions. We've gone out on double-date type things with them and they're generally nice people, but I can't say that I know them all that well, what with our relationship basically consisting of the fact that we've gone to a country music concert and 3 bars with these people and not much else. I'd not say we're really close or anything like that.
Anyway, after the party ended at 11:00pm, we migrated to the hotel bar because hello, its only 11pm! This woman was telling me on several occassions that she thought I was cute. Well, okay, thanks, how very nice of you. Then, she tells me that guys are checking me out. "Um...okay," I say. What exactly does one say to that, anyway? We go to the bar where I buy myself and the other chick a lemon drops shot (cause that's what you do, right? Take turns buying?) And I kid you not she starts whispering in my ear how she loves my outfit and thinks I'm beautiful. It was weird and awkward and all kinds of strange for me. "Uh, thanks, I guess," I tell her, still not sure what to make of this woman. Then, this tall dude that was sitting at our table comes over and is talking to me, and when he walks away, I tell her that I think he's handsome. She says,"You know who I think is handsome? Your husband..." "Uh, okay, I'm kinda partial to him too, since I'm married to him and all...." WTF? Really? I've really got no radar for anything like this and was not at all sure of how to react. At this point, husband was nowhere to be found and then he comes out of nowhere to whisk me away from these people. He then informs me that they are swingers and apparently, she was interested in more than drinks and conversation! Should I not give people the benefit of the doubt and just assume that all new folks are insane until proven differently?
Needless to say, husband and I went back to our shithole room alone where we watched fuzzy Southpark on the craptastic television with no remote (because they wanted a fucking $10 deposit just to use the godamned remote, that's why!), had crazy alcohol-induced,monogomous, no extra-people, sex and went to sleep!
Thursday, December 7, 2006
About Last Night...
Well, last night our annual "Holiday" party was quite the entertaining ordeal. Mr. Overworked and I feasted on free food and imbibed in free booze. Who doesn't like free booze? For some reason, it tastes waaaay better than booze paid for out of one's own pocket.
There was many a sight to behold there, nothing like watching middle-aged folks who you are used to seeing in Accounting and IT shaking a tail feather to Nelly on the dancefloor, always an entertaing sight. I really MUST get a camera phone so I can share these sights with you folks, because quite honestly, words cannot express.....We didn't stay late for a couple of reasons, one being that we have to get up early in the morning to get people off to work and their designated place of educational development and two being, sometimes, drinking on a weeknight doesn't do great things for me, and since I have a huge tendency to embarrass myself in public, I thought I'd wait until AFTER I get my Christmas bonus check to insult any higher-ups...just a thought...
This morning, my husband, who is a special kind of retarded sometimes, locked his keys in his car WHILST it was running. Is that not a genius move? Being the good wife that I am, however, I did leave the checkbook and the yellowpages turned to the towing section on the kitchen table while I left his ass there at home, because, seriously, why do BOTH of us need to be late because he's a dork? (Also, yes, I'm aware that normal people make an extra set of keys for their cars, however, we do not fall under the "normal" category so that point is moot.)
There was many a sight to behold there, nothing like watching middle-aged folks who you are used to seeing in Accounting and IT shaking a tail feather to Nelly on the dancefloor, always an entertaing sight. I really MUST get a camera phone so I can share these sights with you folks, because quite honestly, words cannot express.....We didn't stay late for a couple of reasons, one being that we have to get up early in the morning to get people off to work and their designated place of educational development and two being, sometimes, drinking on a weeknight doesn't do great things for me, and since I have a huge tendency to embarrass myself in public, I thought I'd wait until AFTER I get my Christmas bonus check to insult any higher-ups...just a thought...
This morning, my husband, who is a special kind of retarded sometimes, locked his keys in his car WHILST it was running. Is that not a genius move? Being the good wife that I am, however, I did leave the checkbook and the yellowpages turned to the towing section on the kitchen table while I left his ass there at home, because, seriously, why do BOTH of us need to be late because he's a dork? (Also, yes, I'm aware that normal people make an extra set of keys for their cars, however, we do not fall under the "normal" category so that point is moot.)
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Office Parties
Today is the day of our office "Holiday" party. Its supposed to be a very fancy ordeal at the Westport Sheraton Lakeside Chalet. The company is even providing shuttle service to and from the party so as to avoid any parking issues. I'm actually looking forward to the party this year. Anytime there are free drinks and free food available, sign me up! However, our company does this type of thing on such a large scale the only way its feasible is to have it on a weeknight to accomodate such a large number of people. I'll report how the party goes tomorrow for you all my uh...readers!
Last night was the girl's Holiday concert at school. I was astounded at what some parents will let their children leave the house in, much less perform in front of large groups wearing. One girl literally wore her sister's prom dress to the concert. This girl was in the 5th Grade! Not only was she wearing the prom dress, but she also was wearing some stripper-like plastic high heels with it. Amazing.
My girl looked adorable (if I do say so myself!) in some brown gauchos with a brown and pink blazer and pink ballet flats. Not my style, but it looked cute on her and apparently, that's what all the Jr. High girls are wearing because there were about 15 other girls in her class of 30 students wearing almost identical outfits. She's improved dramatically on her flute so the band portion was not nearly so painful to listen to as its been in the past....yay for my girl!
Anyway, that's all I've got for today. Catch ya later, folks!
Last night was the girl's Holiday concert at school. I was astounded at what some parents will let their children leave the house in, much less perform in front of large groups wearing. One girl literally wore her sister's prom dress to the concert. This girl was in the 5th Grade! Not only was she wearing the prom dress, but she also was wearing some stripper-like plastic high heels with it. Amazing.
My girl looked adorable (if I do say so myself!) in some brown gauchos with a brown and pink blazer and pink ballet flats. Not my style, but it looked cute on her and apparently, that's what all the Jr. High girls are wearing because there were about 15 other girls in her class of 30 students wearing almost identical outfits. She's improved dramatically on her flute so the band portion was not nearly so painful to listen to as its been in the past....yay for my girl!
Anyway, that's all I've got for today. Catch ya later, folks!
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
So, I'm new to the world...
Of blogging...of course I have my abysmal thing on MySpace, but this is big league, you know, actually having a blog on blogger. Yay me!
Anyway, I'm Jen. I'm married to a wonderful man and we've got cute kids. I've got a daughter who's 13 and trying to drive me to drink and a son who's 3 and if he doesn't stop crapping in his pants for the love of all that is holy, will also drive me to drink or worse!
I live in MO where currently, 150,000 are still without power due to a recent ice storm. Thank gawd ours came back on Sunday evening which prevented me from becoming a homicidal maniac and going all Samuel L. Jackson on the next person who tried to turn a light on!
Anyway, welcome to my little world here and I hope that you enjoy my little musings...
Anyway, I'm Jen. I'm married to a wonderful man and we've got cute kids. I've got a daughter who's 13 and trying to drive me to drink and a son who's 3 and if he doesn't stop crapping in his pants for the love of all that is holy, will also drive me to drink or worse!
I live in MO where currently, 150,000 are still without power due to a recent ice storm. Thank gawd ours came back on Sunday evening which prevented me from becoming a homicidal maniac and going all Samuel L. Jackson on the next person who tried to turn a light on!
Anyway, welcome to my little world here and I hope that you enjoy my little musings...
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